Sorry if you were the person that I just told this exact
same thing to. It’s easy to lose track when you have like one idea string
that you share over and over. Here are the highlights so that you don’t
have to read the whole thing. Basically, potty training or toilet
learning or whatever you want to call it is as developmental as walking.
You wouldn’t bribe a kid to walk to you with an M&M or be mad when
they tripped and fell. Because they just weren’t quite ready to walk.
And everyone knows that walking is something that happens
around 1 year old. And proper toilet usage around 3 years old. You
know – some kids walk at 9 months. And some kids have completely
functional sphincters at 2-1/2. Mine were not those kids and I personally
have sported the milestone-jealousy that comes with kids meeting milestones a
little late.
And so I bought books. Some with stickers,
ballerinas, bears, princesses, princess bears, ballerina bears…
well, you get the idea, all of them learned to used the toilet. I even
shared my own yellowed, ancient potty training book from when I was a
young lass. Also I bought potties. Ones that sing, ones that cheer, ones
that have princesses and ballerinas… I’m not kidding you – this doesn’t
include the potty seats or the pee targets for the boys. Target adores
me.
By the time I got to the third child, I began to wonder
at all of this. Why so many products? Why so many approaches and
bribes and expert opinions? Why are there 20 Dora’s under my kid’s butt?
And why are so many of these products really gross? Like the little
potty that you sit on and poop in. And that doesn’t come including, and
apparently doesn’t even have sold separately, the fairy to clean it out.
I finally realized that there is an industry–a big huge industry around
WC Education. Because it’s gross. And everyone wants to be done
with diapers as soon as humanly possible. And everyone wants to make it
cute. Adorable and expeditious is the goal, totally and precisely what
you think about when considering the restroom, no?
What other milestone could you brand and publish and make
people feel ashamed for not joining in on? Ummm… there are none. No
physical milestone or social or emotional or academic… Nope. None.
Shame is the hallmark of the bathroom – do you love to use public
restrooms? Probably not. So… how to possibly teach the ways of the
toilet without shaming our kids?
I vote for this: chill out and let them lead. If they want a singing
toilet that comes with a cleanup fairy and you are willing to be that fairy, go
for it. If the princess book looks awesome (where they actually cheer yay
for #1 and #2 and there is a punch out crown for the kid to wear and add a
jewel every time they use they potty), go with it. But let them lead –
like walking or climbing or reading. Don’t rush. Don’t overbuy,
don’t compare and contrast and if you uncover a real issue, the doctor will
help. Last I checked, there are very few kids who are headed off to
college in a diaper – it will happen, keep your M&M’s to pair with a
cocktail once the munchkin is safely in bed with a pull-up on.