The Cliffs of Insanity

The Cliffs of Insanity

Crap Philosophy - On Toilet Training


Sorry if you were the person that I just told this exact same thing to.  It’s easy to lose track when you have like one idea string that you share over and over.  Here are the highlights so that you don’t have to read the whole thing.  Basically, potty training or toilet learning or whatever you want to call it is as developmental as walking.  You wouldn’t bribe a kid to walk to you with an M&M or be mad when they tripped and fell.  Because they just weren’t quite ready to walk.  
 
And everyone knows that walking is something that happens around 1 year old.  And proper toilet usage around 3 years old.  You know – some kids walk at 9 months.  And some kids have completely functional sphincters at 2-1/2.  Mine were not those kids and I personally have sported the milestone-jealousy that comes with kids meeting milestones a little late.

And so I bought books.  Some with stickers, ballerinas, bears, princesses, princess bears, ballerina bears… well, you get the idea, all of them learned to used the toilet.  I even shared my own yellowed,  ancient potty training book from when I was a young lass.   Also I bought potties. Ones that sing, ones that cheer, ones that have princesses and ballerinas…  I’m not kidding you – this doesn’t include the potty seats or the pee targets for the boys.  Target adores me.  

By the time I got to the third child, I began to wonder at all of this.  Why so many products?  Why so many approaches and bribes and expert opinions?  Why are there 20 Dora’s under my kid’s butt?  And why are so many of these products really gross?  Like the little potty that you sit on and poop in.  And that doesn’t come including, and apparently doesn’t even have sold separately, the fairy to clean it out.  I finally realized that there is an industry–a big huge industry around WC Education.  Because it’s gross.  And everyone wants to be done with diapers as soon as humanly possible.  And everyone wants to make it cute.  Adorable and expeditious is the goal, totally and precisely what you think about when considering the restroom, no?  

What other milestone could you brand and publish and make people feel ashamed for not joining in on?  Ummm… there are none.  No physical milestone or social or emotional or academic…  Nope.  None.  Shame is the hallmark of the bathroom – do you love to use public restrooms?  Probably not.  So… how to possibly teach the ways of the toilet without shaming our kids?  

I vote for this:  chill out and let them lead.  If they want a singing toilet that comes with a cleanup fairy and you are willing to be that fairy, go for it.  If the princess book looks awesome (where they actually cheer yay for #1 and #2 and there is a punch out crown for the kid to wear and add a jewel every time they use they potty), go with it.  But let them lead – like walking or climbing or reading.  Don’t rush.  Don’t overbuy, don’t compare and contrast and if you uncover a real issue, the doctor will help.   Last I checked, there are very few kids who are headed off to college in a diaper – it will happen, keep your M&M’s to pair with a cocktail once the munchkin is safely in bed with a pull-up on.