I have to tell you right now before I lose my nerve that we
have a lot of Legos (and among those are girly
Legos). Also known as Friends
Legos, these little pink and oft sparkly gals are generally unpopular in the
gender equality blogging world and are (massively
popular) in my house. Popular
with a 13-year-old girl who doesn’t care for girly stuff or building stuff and
is mostly into anime and comics. And
with a 5-year-old girl who is passionate about all princesses and pinkness that
the world has to offer. Actually,
building girly Legos together is one activity that they can do together – and
you have to know that 5 and 13 are pretty broad age gaps to fill.
The thing that perhaps I should also mention is that there
is a certain 12-year-old boy in the house who adores all things pink. Recently he got a sparkly pink cast on his
arm and not a single person – family, friend, or school staff blinked an
eye, they all know and love him. He loves to build these little gal
legos along with the Death Star that is a zillion pieces and is on month 4 of its treacherous build.
I have read every single article about girly toys and girly
legos and the pink aisle at Target. And
I totally get it. Let’s not make our
girls into some societally preconceived princesses ready to get plastic surgery at age 11 to look like Barbie. Obviously.
But since I have a boy who wore a
sundress to the park one day when when he was 6 and a girl who could not care less about plaids and stripes together – maybe I have a different
perspective. The issue isn’t, I don't think, that there are girl and
boy legos - although it would be cool for them to be displayed together - just as the issue isn't that there are girl and boy clothing sections. I don't even feel extra-offended by the pink aisle. But the fact that we'd all rather fight the Lego company than our own gender stereotypes - that one's got my boxer-style panties in a wad.
Sex is binary. And we
shop for our kids and decorate their rooms and make silly plans for their lives
that will never come true based on their sex - like as early as 4 seconds post-ultrasound.
Gender is what makes a kid's room (read: life) their own though. From the toys that
they choose in whatever aisle strikes their fancy to the stickers that they plaster illegally on their bedroom walls to the snugglies and sheets that adorn their beds -- gender is a completely separate thing from sex; unfortunately, we as a society really suck at understanding that difference perhaps because we don't have any idea what to do without a simple binary system or tidy labels. It’s boy or girl, a 1 or a 0. But what of my sweet pre-teen male who only recently started refusing manicures because the other boys started noticing his flashy nail fashion?
So gender is the big deal, not sex. And my wish upon a star is that the girly legos weren’t the
problem. My wish upon a star is that my
son could proudly walk up to the counter and buy a dolphin-watching ship and
a nerf gun with his allowance and feel legitimately excited about them
both. Sans the shaming. And then, while he is at it, I
wish that he could grow up to be the most kind and empathetic soft-touch of a
firefighter there is. Or a bad ass tatted-up nurse. Or whatever mix of whatever he
wants to be. I know that’s all a bunch harder of a wish than wishing away the pink aisle, but I think it's worth a quick noodle. Let me know if you have a fairy godfather I can contact about it all.