Apparently I am a super square person. Not like unhip, of course (because all awesome people say ‘unhip’…) But like an in-the-box thinker. And I’m going to have to get right down to it and blame society for that. Because society is pretty vague and it’s not like blaming your parents or your spouse or your 4th grade teacher. It’s not any of them – it’s just, well, society. I sometimes feel like someone in one of those scifi shows though that is absorbed into a collective and becomes like everyone else. In a box. I go to the same vacation spots and see everyone I know. I have the same kind of stuff as others. I think that a corporate job is a real good job. I wish that I could engage a creative pursuit as well as my boxy ones but it's a distant dream. I join things and volunteer for things and keep things pretty steady.I always thought I was super creative but I learned this shocking slice of self-revelation because only 25% of my children fit into a quadrangle of any variety – that makes one kid who I could picture in some kind of traditional businessy career going to some standard vacation spot. And the rest are wildly flailingly creative. And I have absolutely no idea what they will be when they grow up. And neither do they. We have the flamingo ballerina and the rainbow unicorn and the ninja astronaut... But one thing that is for sure is that the term"conventional" doesn't fit a one of em.
In 7th grade my daughter wrote a collection of poems, read a hundred books and wrote 2/3 of a fantasy novel. In 7th grade I wrote a book report and some notes to friends that I folded into airplanes and threw across the classroom. In 4th grade my son made an incredible sculpture with his hopes for the world including things like human rights and an end to suffering. When I was in 4th grade I actually sneezed so hard that I fell out of circle time.
I am constantly astounded by these little people. A drawing, a poem, an eloquent sentiment. They are truly amazing in a million ways that seem completely and wonderfully unproductive to me. Not that I can see into a crystal ball and predict the future but the ability to create a human-rights- sculpture doesn't feel totally like a career task. And every once in a while that freaks me out.
And yet, freaked out as it makes me, all of these kids go to schools that I myself sought out to honor and engage their creativity, individuality and unique problem solviness. And I pay for these happily and willingly so that they don't have to feel squeezed into some shape that doesn't suit them. Somehow I know that it's the right thing even without a precise vision for its outcome. The development of these counterproductively creative souls could lead to something - some off center type of innovative productivity that I can't even imagine... Or it could lead to the need for a huge basement for my adult kids to live in. I'm not quite sure.
The task of raising and educating kids is giant and no matter what school I choose for a child's unique learning needs, none will be equal to it. And no matter if I provide the pinnacle of perfect parenting, I am not equal to it. And so I, like everyone else, hope that what I can do, what I do do, is right and good enough. I am choosing to raise some creative, out of the box kids who can push boundaries in themselves and in the world around them. I am choosing to close my eyes and spin around blindfolded and hope that my instincts are good enough. Because, in all truth, what else is there to do.