I know why Jon and Kate Plus 8 broke up. It wasn't glam or awesome so TLC didn't want to tell us. But I know deep in my heart that it was because of having 8 kids who each did 4 after school activities and that makes 32 activities and grounds for divorce.
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I look at all of the Facebook posts flying by of kids doing amazing and creative out of school activities and once I paused, realizing that I had just seen 5 pictures of the same kid in 5 totally different get-ups. In a row. There was a karate which seemed to melt into soccer, drama, a music recital, and a dance show. I don't really know this kid well but I don't think it's someone who is training to be, say, Jackie Chan - kicking and dancing and chopping their way through a recital. On film and for money.
I probably need not state that I saw this succession of startling photographs before my kids really cared about after school activities and it was a moment in which I was happy and secure in the knowledge that I would never have to find so very many outlets for so very many interests and I would never have to buy so many different costumes.
Then my daughter wanted to dance. She was small and adorable and this seemed like a reasonable thing to desire. Plus there was ballet at preschool so it was an easy Target run for the outfitting. She loved it. And she, at the same time, managed to grow up past preschool and still wanted to continue with dancing. I was sure that she would become an official ballerina so I enrolled her in a dance school that required approximately $200 in extra branded attire, bags and real live non-target ballet slippers. It was serious dance and her 5-year-old self was into it. In this case "into it" also means "didn't want to admit that she hated it." And as I removed the ballet school magnet from my car I decided then and there that I would never ever go quite so whole hog on this kind of thing. Ever again.
I then decided to allow each child to choose two activities - one for their mind and one for their body. That leaves the maximum sitting comfortably at 8 total activities and with any luck some of those activities are held actually at school. Doable. I'm not super sporty nor do I come from sporty stock, however, and it quickly happened that one child decided that they wanted to do two things for their mind and zero for their body. Like an instrument and chess. And the body part would really only happen under duress. So it came down to piano vs. chess: which shall I prohibit? And thus it was that this tidy plan was chipped away at little by little until, at this point, it became a virtually unrecognizable slightly fond memory of an attempt at organizing the unorganizable.
Never fear, a new philosophy has formed. This one looks something like "The fewer activities requiring chaperones the better. Also nothing on Saturday". Because at this stage in the game Saturdays are more valuable than unlikely tries at baseball scholarships, and letting them figure out where their passions lie is more valuable than my organizational scheme around it. So far the kids have tried out a bunch of crap that they mostly hated and a few things that have stuck. Most everyone has a thing they like whether it's an instrument or a sport or a cosplay club that I don't understand - and so that's enough.
Having all of the kids doing karate would be so tidy and efficient. Everyone in drama or music would have been great so that these kids could start earning their keep with a foursome type band. But instead it's a messy assemblage of people doing things that they like. And my only success is that we still to this day have Saturdays completely free for lazing around and picking on each other.